There is so much more to mommyhood than simply being with your children. I've learned that being fully present isn't as always easily done. It's one thing to be in the same room, but to find the ability to still give your child your full attention after working away from home all day, that can be tough at times. Or to get off the phone (so guilty of this), computer or peel your eyes away from the T.V. to witness your child simply playing in the corner can be challenging because that article is just too good to stop reading! Being a mom means that you will never be on time again, anywhere, whether they go with you or not! It means that my house is always a disaster because I choose playtime and naps with my daughter over picking up the toys that will be taken out in another 30 minutes anyways or simply rinsing the dishes is a 3 hour job. It means that when you think they are finally down for a nap and you and your partner want to have some alone time, your children will wake up at the worst oportune moment and need you, even if your partner needs you, too.
Mommyhood brings dirty diapers, snot noses, confliction in the best ways to raise them, self ridicule, ridicule from others, unsolicited advice, unkempt homes, tears, sweat, energy (and lack of), financial worries and Negativity. We have grown in a society that focuses on all the bad things of being a parent or how to parent, and too busy saying "No!", that we forget that these little bodies and minds will one day use what's been taught to them in their life. Do we want our children to grow up in a negative world? So as a mom, I'm learning that even though there are tough sides to being a parent, I will remain positive and as optimistic as possible. My hubs sometimes tells me that I don't see logic and reality. I do. But don't we want our children to believe that good things happen, too? And not everything in life is "no". Right now there's this huge "Mommy Wars" happening and instead of supporting mommyhood as a whole, we bring other's and their parenting choices down in discouraging light or take responsibility for our own choices instead of knocking someone else because they did something you either don't agree with or wasn't able to do. I don't want my children to grow up like this. While I want them to know that negative light exists, mommyhood has taught me to stay focused on the positive.
The greatest joys I've found in my journey through mommyhood has been my daughter's first smile, coo, babble. I still get excited when we've gone stretches without a poopy or pee filled diaper! The first time she started to play with her toys, sit up on her own, or laugh that sweet, full-of-life laugh. The way she explores her world and wants so desperately to share it with us! The first time she looked straight at me and said "mama". When she gets so excited and jumps her little booty up and down when I walk in the door from work. They way she crawls to me and into my arms to have hugs and milkies. The fact that she is now learning to sign and can tell me she wants milk. How my breast is the one place that comforts her most and makes her world seem okay for the moment. The fact that I have never told her "No" to comfort nursing in public but the times I have told her "No" have been to protect her and explaining why. I've learned that we must respect our children, as they are no less equal than us and have rights and feelings, too. I've learned what unconditional love truly means and how I want to protect this life in any way, but I also don't want to smother to the point that she doesn't have any bumps and bruises at all. I wasn't prepared for this kind of love, but I'm sure as hell embracing it.
So while I thought being a mom was an awesome gig, I had no clue as to how truly an amazing gift it really is. My daughter is only 10 months old, and I still have LOTS more to learn, but we will go along, teaching one another through the good, the bad and the beautiful moments of life.
